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Okay. I'm updating. ...As if you couldn't tell.
Today was weird. First, I was really really happy when I woke up 'cause Kelly and I made up, and everything was just going good ok. Then I got really emo 'cause I realized I have to leave Kelly in 3 days. Oops, now 2 days. Someone kill me. No, really. This just fucking sucks.
The one time I'm reaaaally happy, the thing that's making me happy gets taken away. That pisses me off. And it pisses me off that there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Ahhhh, I know we're not gonna be apart that long, but still. I freak out when I wake up and see that she's not next to me.. then I'll like, see a note that says "I went to go do an interview" or something, and I'll calm down. Seriously though. I don't want to be away from her. It seems like she's my reason for doing anything, lately. I'm so fucking SICK of touring. I wish we could like, get a 3 month break from it. I'd rather record, even though when we record we're stuck in one place for a number of weeks.. I DON'T CARE, i'm just sick and fucking tired of touring. I love the fans, blah blah blah, but I don't wanna do it anymore.
When we were on tour in Europe, I didn't want to perform. I used to whine and complain and shit, and if I would just hear her say "No Joel, go out there. You'll be great. Make the fans happy, I'll be watching." and see her smile, somehow, I'd forget being tired of it and I'd go out there and give my all. Now? I have no fucking reason too. AKEFHAKFHE Why can't the fans just move to USA? Is it that hard. God. Ok. /angryness
What else happened? Oh yeah. Then I was happy. But then, I got all emo and pissed off again 'cause of the whole Bert/Kelly thing. I guess it just scared me, that they were getting so close, so fast again. I felt like he could take my place. But anyway. I'm not gonna think about that. Much love to Benj and Brit for making me feel better <333 I love you guys, you're my best friends. My brother and my sister. ::cough::what?::cough:: I don't know what I'd do without you both.
Anyway, yeah. I know Kelly wants to be friends with Bert again. And.. I'm not all for it, but really, it has nothing to do with me. And I need to stay out. And, basically if it makes Kelly happy, I'm ok with it. I just want to see her happy. BUT HE BETTER NOT FUCKING HURT HER AGAIN. I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS.. Oops, and just 'cause SHE'S friends with him, doesn't mean I am or I'm ever going to be. >:O >:O >:O ::very bitter::
You know what? I haven't talked to Paul in a while. PAUL YOU NEED TO COME OUT OF HIDING. >:O Thanks.
Okay, I'm dead tired. I just got up to update 'cause.. I wanted too. But now I'm going back to sleep. With Kelly. Bet you're jealous. :P
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energetic